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4:00 pm
Mon September 24, 2012

Sandwich Monday: Loose Meat Sandwich

We've all encountered loose change, loose teeth, and certainly loose-fitting pants, but only a lucky few of us have encountered the Loose Meat Sandwich. It's an Iowa classic that's basically like a hamburger, except the patty doesn't hold together at all. We picked up a couple from Maid-Rite here in Chicago.

Mike: The meat pebbles make it so much easier to fatten up those hard to reach parts of the body.

Leah: I think you have to have baleen to eat this properly.

Ian: This reminds me of the short-lived Meat Grape-Nuts.

Mike: Who made this burger, George Seurat? (That's a pointillist joke.)

Ian: I'm gonna wash this down with 200 molecules of hydrogen and 100 molecules of oxygen.

Eva: I'd like a refund, because I specifically asked for a thousand tiny buns.

Robert: I tried making these on my backyard grill. Man, what a disaster!

Eva: I think I might be suffering from amnesia, because it looks like I already ate this sandwich.

Ian: These are great if you have kids because if they wander off you can just follow their meat trail.

Robert: The saying "loose lips sink ships" saved countless service men and women during World War II. I think "loose meat you best not eat" could save even more lives.

[The verdict: A great sandwich if you want the ingredients of a hamburger without all the convenience and structural integrity.]

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