An Unconventional, But 'Perfect,' Path To Parenthood

Nov 1, 2013
Originally published on November 1, 2013 10:18 am

Since childhood, Rami Aizic knew he "needed and wanted to be a dad." He assumed he would one day meet the girl of his dreams and it would all just happen.

Then he realized he was gay.

Robin Share also wanted kids, but had no partner. So when a mutual friend told Rami about Robin, he called her up and left a message: "Hi, Robin. I'm a friend of Scott's and he said you might be interested in having a baby with me. So give me a call back."

The two hit it off and began making plans — and then Robin met someone. It almost derailed the process, but a few weeks later, Robin knew he "wasn't Mr. Right."

Rami, Robin and their daughter, now 14, consider themselves a family. They don't live under one roof, but spend holidays and other important events together as much as possible.

"Do you ever have any regrets?" Rami asks Robin.

"Never," Robin says. "Couldn't be more perfect."

Audio produced for Morning Edition by Katie Simon.

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On Fridays, we hear from StoryCorps, which records conversations from everyday people across this country. And today, we hear from Robin Share and Rami Aizic. They came to StoryCorps to talk about how they became parents, and it's not the way you might think.

RAMI AIZIC: Ever since I was 10 or 11 years old, I knew that I needed and wanted to be a dad. I figured it would all just happen. I'd meet the girl of my dreams and I'd get married, and we'd have babies. A little kink in that story was that I realized I was gay.

ROBIN SHARE: I was pretty far along in my 30s and I thought, I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, and I really want to have kids.

AIZIC: And I would be at parties, and I would just say, oh by the way, if you know of any women who would be interested in having a child with me, give them my number. And my friend Scottie said to me, I'd met this woman, and she's interested in having a child.

And I called you and actually, left a message saying something along the lines of, hi Robin. I'm a friend of Scott's, and he said you might be interested in having a baby with me. So give me a call back.

SHARE: By the third or fourth time of us meeting or talking on the phone, we were pretty sure.

AIZIC: But one day, you seemed kind of fidgety, and you seemed a little bit tense; and you just kind of sat forward and blurted out: I've met someone, and I think I need to stop this whole process.

SHARE: That's right.

AIZIC: And I remember feeling devastated. You were still hoping for Mr. Right and to do this the traditional way. But a few weeks had gone by and there was a message from you on the machine, something along the lines of, this guy is a very nice guy...

SHARE: But he wasn't Mr. Right. You were Mr. Right.

AIZIC: So we went straight ahead.

SHARE: Nov. 9th...

AIZIC: Nov. 9th.

SHARE: ...1998 - boom, I got pregnant.

AIZIC: And you were home from work for that first year. So my concern was: Will I ever bond with this child anywhere near as much as you have?

SHARE: And I remember writing you a Father's Day card early on that said: One day, she will see you across the room and come running to you with her arms out saying, Daddy! And she does that all the time now.

AIZIC: Do you ever have any regrets?

SHARE: Never.

AIZIC: Me either.

SHARE: Never. Couldn't be more perfect.

AIZIC: Yeah, I think so, too.

INSKEEP: Rami Aizic and Robin Share in Santa Monica. This, along with all StoryCorps interviews, is archived at the Library of Congress. You can read this story and more in StoryCorps' latest book, "Ties That Bind." Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.